There are a number of "Finding a Therapist" sites that I recommend for people seeking an affirming therapist. They are listed on my resources page and I want to highlight a few here:
I am on the Board of Bay Area Open Minds whose mission is best stated on our website:
"We are a group of San Francisco Bay Area psychotherapists and psychotherapy students who affirm that sexual and gender diversity are natural expressions of the human experience. We provide a safe haven for mental health clinicians to gather, network, support, and consult."
Here is our "Find a Therapist" page.
Also valuable in the Bay Area, I recommend Gaylesta, an educational resource and therapist directory that identifies as "the Psychotherapist Association for Gender & Sexual Diversity."
Farther afield, the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom has a national and international Kink Aware Professionals directory that I find valuable even for those not in the kink or BDSM communities.
An up and coming "Find a Therapist" site is Therapy Den which hopes to build off of a successful experience in Portland, Oregon, by providing a "progressive mental health directory and resource - made with love for the Bay Area.". From their site:
"Our mission is to make finding the right therapist or counselor as painless as possible, raise mental health awareness, support causes we believe in and challenge all systems of oppression."
My first post on Therapy Den is oriented toward therapists though I hope it is a beneficial read for all. Let me know what you think of making friends with your discomfort.